What are you afraid of? Public speaking…..heights…..failure…..being alone?
As long as I can remember my fear has been of what people think of me. I remember being in kindergarten and a girl in the school yard told me I was ugly. I was already painfully shy, I remember wanting to disappear even more.
Until recently I would wonder what are people thinking, what is their opinion of me, do they like me? I used to think about this daily and it would impact nearly everything I said and did.
I’ve learned 2 things about fear.
- Fear isn’t something we are born with, its something we LEARN.
- Most of what we fear never even happens.
I recently watched Will Smith’s skydiving video on YouTube and I love what he says about fear. He says we feel the most amount of fear during the anticipation of the event itself. We create stories in our mind of possibilities of undesirable outcomes. Yet in the very moment of maximum risk or danger we actually feel the minimal amount of fear.
Here are 3 tips I’ve learned to contend with fear.
- Time – Cut off the flow of time…like weeds, if fear is left it will grow and take over. Face it head on the second you feel it and you will terminate its power to grow.
- Meaning – Assign it the role of the guide in your life. Recognize it as a clue to some of your biggest opportunities to grow. The things we fear are often the very things that in doing, lead us to freedom.
- Stay in your lane – Quit comparing yourself to other people. It is NEVER a fair comparison, because we are usually comparing someone else’s best qualities to our own ‘worst’ ones. We also don’t know the history of how they got to where they are. Focus on creation not competition. It takes effort to do both but one will move you forward and the other will hold you back.
Will Smith said God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.
Fear most not feeling fear at all.